Thursday, July 19, 2007

A Tale of Two Monkeys (and a little brown dog)

Baxter was filled with gleeful anticipation when he heard a monkey would be coming to live with him.

The two became fast friends, going everywhere together .

They were inseparable.

Until one day when Purple Monkey went out for cigarettes and never came back. After going on a three week tequila bender, he finally came home and promptly passed out under the butterfly bush in the front yard. (*dramatic reenactment - Playing the role of Purple Monkey is Brown Bear)

Baxter was inconsolable.

Even his girlfriend, Isis, could not cheer him up. The only thing that seemed to give him any solace was listening to Freddy Mercury's "Love of my Life" on repeat in the CD player.

Things changed when a new monkey came to town. In Purple Monkey's absence, Green Monkey swooped in to usurp his place.

Then one day Purple Monkey came back. He was filled with false regrets and empty apologies. Baxter tried, but things just weren't the same. Seeing his chance to regain his status, Green Monkey he fanned the sparks of Baxter's resenment into a brightly burning flame and encouraged him to do do the unspeakable...

[graphic picture of wounded Purple Monkey with stuffing coming out supressed by censors]

It was touch and go at first. It did not look like Purple Monkey would survive. After hours of surgery, doctors were able to save his life...

...but not his right leg.

The road to recovery has been long and hard, but with therapy the monkeys have put aside their differences. Green Monkey is secure in the knowledge that he is still the favorite (for now). Purple Monkey is now in a twelve step program. He spends his days trying to make amends and dreaming of the day when he has finally saved enough money to buy himself a pegleg.

And Baxter?With time and the help of his friends, he has managed to put the whole ugly business behind him and regain some of his former joie de vivre.


Jen said...

Hee hee!! Poor Purple Monkey! Purple Monkey is the VICTIM HERE!!!

I notice that this version of the story neglects Baxter's Bluebeard Closet full of Lost Loves. "Yeah, baby... we'll have a good time until I SHUN YOU FOREVER and possibly bury you under a rose bush. There are plenty of Monkeys at the drugstore, so don't piss me off."

Let's just say I don't think it's Purple Monkey who needs to make amends...

(I love this illustrated story, though.)

Martina said...

Well, I never said it wasn't fiction! Frankly, I think Baxter's people put it out as spin to tidy up his image. Just wait until you hear the behind the scenes story. I have to tell ou that it is SHOCKING.

Sonya said...

You know, I could post about the love affair going on at my house between Poo-Dog and Black Squirrel... but it's been rated R for sex and graphic violence.

Martina said...

That's what you get for having a violent pervert for a dog! Just wait until I post the latest news about purple monkey's recovery will be shocked!