In which I share with you a list of things you might find in the closet while roomening

* That book you borrowed from but never returned to that one bitchy professor back in college. You remember the one with the hedgehog hair. The one who reminded you of a Micki doll turned evil. The one who laughed at your pronunciation of the word "viscount", scarring you enough to henceforth tell people that it is actually The Baron in the Trees that is your favorite Italo Calvino novel.

* A March 2000 copy of Teesha Moore's now defunct art zine The Studio. This makes you sad, because it was really cool. Then, upon doing some research, you find out that she has a new, similarly cool sounding publication called Art & Life Magazine and your world is again set right.

* A Webster XL-747 manual typewriter that used to belong to your grandfather.

* A box containing all of your "lost" sheet music for the violin.

* An unsettling amount of dust. It is, however, not more unnerving than the fact that your faithful assistant decided to gack on one of the shelves while you were in the kitchen getting a frosty beverage.