The truth is...

I think I'm pretty boring. The degree to which I believe this varies by the day, so I was pretty shocked when my friend Anne (a Phd student in psychology) told me that the diversity interview she did with me was "interesting". The other people she interviewed, now they were interesting! But, me? Interesting? Who knew?

So, I have been trying to think of things that make me different from others; real things that would make me interesting, if I were a character in one of the books I like to read. Here is the list thusfar:

1. You'd never know it to look at me now, but I used to wear Forrest Gump-like braces on my legs, because my feet turned in. I ditched them before I started first grade, but there are times when I still feel clutzy because of it.

2. I pretty much learned to speak German and English at the same time when I was a child. I spoke English with my dad, German with my mom, but my first words were "Ack-e up!" (Blackie [our dog's name], shut up!)

3. When I was 18, my greatest dream was to move to New York to work for the UN. Unfortunately, even though I spoke German, English and French, I didn't think I had a near enough to native proficiency in all three. Also, German is not one of the official languages of the UN.

4. I have gotten lost in Amsterdam's red light district while taking an ill advised, off the map shortcut between tourist attractions. In that 30 minute span, more people offered to sell me pot than ever before in my entire life combined.

5. My neighbor and I used to play Barbie's House of Horrors when I was a kid. We would string barbie's up by twine nooses and hang them from the ceiling of Barbie's dream house. We'd also make one of my Dawn dolls sleep in a plastic box cum casket, because she was a vampire. Despite my morbid imagination, I did not grow up to be a serial killer or even just an unsavory societal element.

6. When I was a kid, I once carried a sick, stray kitten home 65 blocks on foot, because the bus driver would not let me bring him on the bus with me. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

7. Under the influence of Jack and Coke, I may or may not have once have tricked my friends into stopping by pretending I had to barf, just so I could run out and sing "Viva Las Vegas" in front of a hollow holy family on a Southern California lawn containing a garishly lit Christmas display.

8. On my first day alone in L.A., I not only got two flat tires in on day, but also got lost in Compton and learned that the back of a police car is really not that comfortable. (The police car actually has an innocent explanation, but I'll refrain from sharing what it is, so you'll not think me less of a badass.)

9. Up until a year or two ago, I had never seen Star Wars. Now that I have, it makes me feel less special.

10. I do not have a favorite song, book or movie. Because I am indecisive, it is too difficult to pick. Plus, I hate being pinned down.

11. Of all the Amish, the Arcola area Amish are my favorites, because they eshew buttons.