Because I don't feel like writing...

Carole Lombard - even when I cheat (not that there's anything wrong with Carole Lombard, I just wanted to know what it takes to not be her)

Your Score: Carole Lombard (even when I cheat!)

You scored 14% grit,

14% wit, 42% flair,

and 40% class!

You're a little bit of a fruitcake, but you always act out in style. You have a good sense of humor, are game for almost anything, but you like to have nice things about you and are attracted to the high life. You're stylish and modern, but you've got a few rough edges that keep you from attaining true sophistication. Your leading men include William Powell, Fredric March, and Clark Gable. Watch out for small planes.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Rockstar Supertoby

Toblerone
Originally uploaded by Martina

Toby aka The Sweetest Dog Ever is finally home from the hospital. After three enemas followed by a disgusting sounding procedure designed to evacuate his bowels of what in his xrays showed up as multiple 4" in diameter obstructions, the vet released him today.

It all started over the weekend when he stopped eating or being able to go to the bathroom. At first we thought that it was the kids next door feeding him bones, which can lead to constipation, especially in older dogs. As it turns out, the problem was due to something else, something else entirely.

Our sweet Toby's stomach was filled with....

ROCKS

Yes, you read that right, ROCKS. Apparently his mellowness is not, as we thought, the product of a secret stash of pot that he has hidden in the garden. He has been too busy eating ROCKS to be enticed by weed, let alone cultivate it. My furry friend has now racked up a $350 vet bill (thank God for the incredible pet insurance I have as a benefit through work, or it would have been MUCH more).

Now my wallet is even lighter, but it doesn't matter, because he is okay and that's all I really care about. So let all human and non-human Powellhurstians are rejoicing at his triumphant return to the fold.

Did you know...

. . . that there is a 3-Day Novel Contest? There is! It has been held every year since 1977, when a group of Vancouver writers started the tradition. The challenge takes place every Labor Day weekend and offers the sweet sweet grand prize of publication for its winner. How did I not know about this? Until stumbling across a copy of Dayshift Werewolf at the library last weekend, I never knew such a thing existed! Even cooler is that last year's winner (Jan Underwood, author of DW) is from my very own city AND she's a foreign language instructor. Now I ask you, what is not to like?

While the back cover blurb describes the book as being about "the underdogs of the horror industry: a claustrophobic mummy, a free-wheeling zombie, a demon with a hidden human and other incompetent monsters who find new truths in life on the dark side", I have to say that my favorite of the novel's eight chapters is the one about a disgruntled gnome, who finds that the great American West is not all it's cracked up to be - not to mention alarmingly short of camembert and people who are not rude.

A victim of displacement via the loss of habitat (Norwegian old growth forest), he defects to America to seek his fortunes in the pristine wilderness of the Rockies. He describes the plight of his people thusly:

...the logging has had a devestating effect on Gnome culture. Most of us have lost our splendid heritage and become tame. Many have assimilated into the Garden Gnome society. I watched it all happening before my eyes, and I decided to take a stand. If the habitat of the Forest Gnome is destroyed, why then, the Forest Gnome must take his culture elsewhere. Gnome culture must be preserved. I am the beginning of the Gnome Diaspora.

How, I ask, can anyone not love a story containing the words "Gnome Diaspora"? One doesn't often hear those two words in the same sentence, but the idea of a gnomic diaspora delights me. Frankly, there's something just something about gnomes. My favorite coloring book as a child? Gnomes! One of my favorite news stories ever? Gnomes! I come from a family with a weird gnome connections going back to the old country - black and white photos of my teenage mother in the garden with what appears to be her gnome guide and pictures of a two year old me in our German apartment admiring what appears to be a lawn gnome chronicle this strange relationship between our respective peoples. And that is why this character just tickled me to no end.

Beyond that, however, the rest of the novel was entertaining - especially the chapter about the demon, which somehow had a Gaimanesque quality. It was also the perfect short (a mere 80 pages), diverting novel to read on a day when I was worried about my own little singing werewolf, Toby, who is spending the night at the vet. The poor guy has a bowel obstruction from the neighbor kids slipping him bones through the fence.

I feel so bad for him, like I'm a bad dog mother, for not having noticed or at least insisted on Saturday when we were working with the vet via the phone that he squeeze him in for an appointment. Life will be MUCH happier tomorrow, when Toby will be home again and Baxter, Ruby and I can stop moping around like we have nothing to live for. Apparently he is the glue that holds our little family together. Meanwhile, books are a good distraction and any book that can keep my mind off of missing my buddy is a good one.

All about me

After a Memorial Day full of food and company, I am too tired and too full to post much of anything introducing my new Summer of Blogging project. My three regular readers (yes, you read that right, there are three of you now. I had a readership spike!) may recall my post a day endeavor back in January. From my perspective, it went very well, but I've really fallen off of the "write something, ANYTHING every day" wagon, so I'm cracking down. They say it takes three months to develope a habit, so I've decided to try again, but expand it from a month to span Memorial Day to Labor Day (but with some slightly tweaked rules, which I am making up as I go along).

So, now you know my Super Duper Top Secret Project (did you notice I've been posting more the past few days? That is why!).

Meanwhile, I found this test via my friend MQ's website. Because I am on the verge of a Memorial Day food coma, I am making it my Monday evening post. I may be back with more later, but if not, at least I'm covered for today.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

My new love

The woods all around me, dark now, were full. High wind, black birds, clacking branches, musical frogs, bats, weeds whispering low - here and there, a possible footfall. The night was alive, a different world from the day. Creatures of all sorts were abroad. - from Phillip DePoy's The Witch's Grave


Have you ever read one of those completely captivating mysteries that you just cannot bring yourself to put it down? Then, when you're done, you're disappointed because it's over, so you channel all your energy into trying to convince anyone who will listen to read it, because you just know they would love it, if only they would give it a chance? That is exactly how I am beginning to feel about Phillip DePoy's Fever Devilin mystery series. Not since my Julian Kestrel crush of early 2006 have I been so enamoured with a mystery series.


The series centers on Fever Devilin, a Folklorist who leaves academia to return to his native hills of Appalachia to collect folktales. Instead of quiet research, Devilin finds mystery and unexplained events and with the help of his two sidekicks, Shakespearean scholar Wilton Andrews and his childhood friend Skidmore, he sets about solving them. The plots are intelligent and complex, but never confusing and the stories include such a healthy dollop of folklore, folk music (sacred harp, mouth music, psaltry, hammer dulcimer, mandolin), history and legend that it is hard not to fall in love with them if you have any interest whatsoever in stories and oral tradition.


The other thing that I love about these books is that they are filled with well developed characters. Each person has not only a distinct voice, but DePoy has also taken the time to imbue them with believable characteristics. The characters are complex - they have histories, hopes, fears, annoying human quirks and most are genuinely likable. You'll find no charicatures or dumb yokels here.


So, next time you are bored and looking for something fun to read, pick up a copy of The Devil's Hearth. You'd might as well also pick up a copy of The Witch's Grave while you're add it. That way when you are finished and feeling depressed that it's over, you'll have another one to read. I haven't yet read the third installment (A Minister's Ghost), but am willing go go out on a limb and recommend it too. Basically, the highest praise I know to give these books is that they are just the sort of mysteries I would like to write myself!

Some things...

Here it is the middle of the night and I cannot sleep, because Toby is still not eating or feeling well and I am worried. He is the best dog ever, which makes it really difficult when he looks at you with his big, sad brown eyes as though he has all the faith in the world that you, his person, can make it all better. So, I will occupy myself with some website recommendations I've been meaning to share for a while now:


1. A fun site boasting "more Gods than you can shake a stick at" (a description I find it impossible not to love!), Godchecker offers information on more than 3,000 Gods, Goddesses, Spirits, Demons and Saints, allowing you to browse by Pantheon. It also features a Diety of the Day, a Holy Hit Parade and an Oracle that offers helpful relationship advice like "Your best interests are of great Godly concern. But they work in very mysterious ways."


2. A compendium of all you ever wanted to know about Victorian London, The Victorian Dictionary is run by author and librarian, Lee Jackson. I first came across Jackson's site after a visit to Flavel House here in Oregon. The visit inspired thoughts about the Victorian ghost story and the inevitable idea of writing a spooky novel for NaNoWriMo, which in turn inspired me to explore a bit of Victoriana as part of my research. The novel is pretty much completely outlined, but (as yet) remains unfinished. If I spent more time writing and less time farting around, I would probably be a bit further. On the other hand, if I did that, I might never have learned this from The Lady's Dressing Room, by Baroness Staffe, trans. Lady Colin Campbell, 1893 - Part II (cont.) :


If your hands are rather fat, do not wear tight sleeves. The pressure and discomfort to the arm will only make the hand swell. A tight cuff is as unsuitable to a large hand as a low heel is to a large foot. If your fingers are square or wide at the ends, you may narrow them a little by pinching and squeezing the tips. Needless to say, you will not obtain the taper fingers you desire all at once, but in time you will become aware of a notable and pleasant change.


3. My absolute favorites horoscopes ever are written by Rob Brezsny at Freewill Astrology and I absolutely LOVE Rob's healing Prayer for You for its enthusiastic use of adjectives. A prayer that is vibrant and bursting with life, it makes me feel good every time I read it. I can also highly recommend his book Pronoia, which is based on the idea that:

Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

It also has a lot of great ideas that can be turned into writing exerices, which will be one of my projects when I have finished picking and choosing my way through the book on paganism from whose exercise questions I am currently picking and choosing as writing prompts.



4. I first became aware of Christina Miller when a friend (you know wh you are!) gave me a wood collage of her Bellini Madonna for Christmas one year. Since then, I like to visit her Iconfusion gallery to look for new additions. On my particularly covetous days, I find myself wanting them all (at the moment Coronation of the Virgin and Our Lady of the Columbia in particular).

And with that, sleepiness has finally come my way, so I am off to bed. There are more links where those came from, but those should be enough to get you started, denizens of the internets.

Magic(k)

You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside. ~ Dr. Wayne Smartypants Dyer

When I was eight or nine...

I went through a phase where I was not only fascinated with witches (thank you, Samantha and Endora!), but I was also convinced that I could control the weather. The proof? A series of tests carefully conducted with the help of my faithful assistant (aka Ratgirl aka Laurel). We would stand outside on blustery days, our arms raised to the heavens in good High Priestess fashion as we commanded the wind to blow. It did, yielding proof that we were filled with the Magicks and it was good.

Many years later....

I am driving to work, thinking about how after a couple months of relative happiness, I am again feeling I've somehow been diverted from the Job Satisfaction Highway to the Suckfest County Fairgrounds via an upcoming project symbolizing the kind of cosmic detour that apparently amuses The Fates significantly more than it does me. So, I do the only reasonable (and obsessive) thing I can think of, which is to start chanting in my head "Please please please please please please please please please, just let it go away. Please?"

I arrive at work. The first thing I hear as I sit down is a cheery: "Good news! It went away!" wafting from my boss' office. This brings on the thought that perhaps I have been too hard on The Fates, which is then followed by an inconspicuous but highly festive bout of butt dancing in my new ergonomic office chair. Had it been later in the day, I might have done a jig, but at such an early hour a person needs to save her strength . I realize, even after all these years, the Magicks are still with me and it is good.

But then, after lunch disaster strikes. I smugly return from a celebratory outing to Lamb's to learn that the project has returned! I am left feeling betrayed by The Universe, The Fates, and especially The Magicks. How can you toy with me like this? I will not be your voodoo doll (or maybe I will, but I won't like it...that I promise you!). In my head I can just see the planning meeting (I'm cosmically important enough to merit a planning meeting, right?) that lead to all this: "Hey, you know what would be fun? We take the Powellhurst girl..."

Days later...

I have been working on The Project for two days now. As much as I had dreaded it, it has not, as far as I can see, actually killed me. Of course, there is the slight chance that I am living out some kind of Sixth Sense moment wherein I am dead but just don't know it yet, but I don't think so. What I think is that this is a good lesson in how we create our own reality. Now I'm not saying that The Project* will ever be on my personal Top 10 List, but having to do it did not exactly turn out to be the end of my world either.

The truth is that once I decided to just suck it up, shake off the exceptionally bad attitude that I had been cultivating over the last few days, and just DO it, it (kind of like ripping off a bandaid) really wasn't so horrible. There were even a couple moments of it when I might have actually cracked a smile. My point is, that when we (especially those of us with a natural expertise for internal snowballing) expect heinousness that is exactly what we get. If we approach things with an open mind, sometimes they are actually bearable and sometimes even fun. While I have my doubts that knowing this will ever turn me completely Pollyana, I do think that being willing to admit and use it is a bit of Magic in itself.

*You will, by the way enjoy this much more, if you read "The Project" in that whispery voice used in pseudo-news pieces about The Secret. I guess I probably should have told you that nearer to the beginning, but I figure if you've read this far, I've probably bewitched you anyway, so you will probably forgive me sooner or later, so you had might as well just do it now. Seriously. Don't make me turn you into a toad. You know I will do it.